Comments

Thank you to everyone for your comments on my last post. I've had a terrible couple of days at work and you made me laugh! Out loud! I don't laugh out loud at work, so thank you very much. :)

Tagged :)

Me: I've been tagged!!!! HELP!!! I've been tagged!!!!!
Kind Person on Sidewalk: Hey! Crazy tagged person! Just do whatever the tagger wanted you to do and no one will get hurt.
Me: Oh, really? Okay then. :)

What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was in fifth grade, probably dreading the end of school and making plans to see all of my elementary school teachers again as my first trip when I could drive. I realize that dreading the END of the school year makes me strange, but I always did. After a few weeks of summer and my brother, I was bored and annoyed. I wanted to be back at school with my friends. I also had this crazy idea that I would go back to my elementary school and see all my beloved teachers again once I could drive (I knew I would miss them and I can still name them all).

Five Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Potato chips
2. Oranges
3. M&Ms
4. Soft Flour Tortillas (plain)
5. French Fries

Five Things on My To Do List Today:
1. Cross stitch (more on that later)
2. Sleep (not likely)
3. Clean the bathroom
4. Go to the gym
5. Pray

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Build a bigger house farther away from Michael's parent's home
Give more to charity
Eat healthier
Have a maid
Travel the world
Set up college funds for my nephew, future children, and future nephews and nieces
Pay off all of my immediate family's debts anonymously

Five Jobs I have had:
1. Section Leader
2. Grocery store bagger
3. Grocery store cashier
4. Receptionist
5. Billing/Eligibility Insurance clerk (current job, it's not as boring as it sounds)

Places I have lived:
Atlanta, GA
Winter Park, FL
Kissimmee, FL
Here

People I want to get to know better:
(yes, this means you are tagged)
Ross Dalgleish
Third Culture Kids R Mine!
Bottles, Barbies & Boys

Six random things:
1. I hate talking on the phone, to anyone. I will suffer it to speak with someone in my family, and sometimes I actually enjoy being on the phone with Michael. Otherwise, if I can accomplish whatever it is without a phone call, it will be done without a phone call. Apparently, I get this from my dad.
2. I play the flute. When I was in high school I would play around 3 or 4 hours a day (not including band class). Now I barely play at all, but am trying to take more time for it, mostly because I miss it.
3. Vincent Van Gogh is awesome!!! Especially his night paintings.
4. I was an altar server for ten years, from second grade to twelfth.
5. My house looks like a hunting lodge: no antlers yet, but it's literally made of wood and we have no pictures but wildlife and hunting dogs, except for the picture of the horses that hangs in our bedroom where I can see it as I fall asleep every night.
6. I have four bosses and enjoy playing them against each other. This skill allows me to avoid the 'it all rolls downhill' rule. Unless something is truly my fault, I never get blamed. :) This is part of what makes my job more interesting than it seems.

Me: So, that's it, I'm done? I did what the tagger wanted and now the blog gods and all of blog world is good again?
Kind Person on Sidewalk: Yes, crazy tagged person, that is right.
Me: Good, good...that's good.
Kind Person on Sidewalk: Yep, that's good. *smiles, nods, backs away slowly*

Ick!

Last night I was trying to fall asleep (Michael was long gone) and I heard a very strange fluttering in my ear. I wasn't immediately freaked; I thought a few strands of my hair had gotten down in my ear canal and the draft from the fan was moving them. So I sat up, pushed my hair to the other side of my head and swiped the outer part of my hear with my finger to make sure it was clear. Everything seemed okay. Then I heard it again. I was little more concerned this time, but occasionally I hear wierd things due to an ear wax build-up (gross, I know) so I thought that might be it and stuck my finger down a little farther in my ear to see if could get some of it out. I know this is not really safe, but I was tired and really didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't find anything, but I heard the fluttering again. This time I screamed and shook my head, which only made it worse. I screamed again. Michael, bless him, is instantly reactive to my screaming and he woke up and turned on the light. My screams weren't loud and long at this point, they were more like emphatic, high-pitched whimpers, but Michael was still concerned, especially since I think I had started to cry. With the light and Michael's concious presence some rationality returned. He asked what was wrong, and I told him 'my ear' but nothing beyond that. It happened again; this time I screamed very loudly because I was beyond rational thought. I knew there was SOMETHING in my head and I didn't know how to get it out! I couldn't get this point across to Michael while I was so freaked, so he was thinking along my original ideas: hair, ear wax, something normal that really wouldn't reduce me to screaming and tears, but he was tired and still partly asleep, so he may not have noticed the tears. He managed to get me out of bed and into the bathroom (keep in mind that the fluttering won't stop and I can't help but make strange noises of frustration, confusion, and slight terror) with the idea that a Q-tip might help me with whatever was going on. He handed me one and I stuck it in my ear and came up with a little ear wax. Seeing that calmed me down a little bit, thinking that maybe it really was ear wax and I just hadn't been able to get to it with my finger. The fluttering stopped too, so I thought that might really be the end. Then it started again and I freaked out all over. I stuck another Q-tip in my ear, farther down this time and heedless of the fact that I must be very close to my ear drum. I drew it out and low and behold: a dead mosquito!
I was pissed. First, you must understand, I hate bugs with all my being. Not insects, mind you, bugs. The creepy crawly insects that are just nasty! Butterflies don't count, neither do caterpillars. Rollie Pollies are ok, and there are probably a few others I can't think of. Roaches, bees, wasps, moths, mosquitoes, beetles, crickets, etc, are my worst nightmare. I just can't stand them. More than once I have been reduced to tears by their mere presence, and hysteric screaming when many of them are too near to me. So, I hate bugs.
Secondly, losing my hearing or having it impaired would be awful to me. I could do without my sight, because I would still be able to communicate readily. Losing my sight might have more impact on my life, but music is such a joy to me that I'm not sure I could stand to lose it, along with the sound of Michael's voice and other people and things dear to me. I despise silence nearly as much as bugs, so to be hearing impaired or deaf would be very hard for me. That stupid bug could have bust my ear drum, or caused me to in the effort to get it out. I think such things can heal, but it could heal improperly or not at all, and then where would I be?
Finally, I was already having trouble getting to sleep, and now I knew I would have to stay up for a bit and relax before I could even think about getting to sleep. That was compounded by being worried about what damage might have been done to my ear, even though I wasn't in enough pain for the drum to have busted.

Stupid bugs. I know there is a use for them in grand scheme of things, but I wish they would just stay away from me.

Other times

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in times other than our own. The Medieval era is the one I most often imagine myself in. I am drawn to the courtesies of the time, the simple belief in right and wrong, the acceptance of the Catholic Church as the authority of God (even when it did not follow God's will in the way we view It now), and even the power men had over women. That is not to say that I enjoy being dominated or subjugated, but simply that I envy the simple life that most gentlewomen led during those times. I never imagine myself a serf or slave, of course, simply because it is my imagination and therefore my choice what life I lead in that fantasy. If somehow given the choice to live in the Medieval era without a guarantee as to my life's station, I probably would not take it. But, if I knew I would be reborn, as it were, into a gentle household with parents who had love in their marriage and wanted the same for their children (as unlikely as that would be), I would jump at the chance, assuming it would hurt no one else and I would lose all memory of my life in this time. I know that the problems of that era (bad food, lack of hygiene, etc) would not be noticeable to me if I had grown up with them. If I could be in a household like that of my imaginings, I know I could be happy. There is no guarantee that my station would last or that I would endure no hardships, but it is likely that I would have no more responsibility than sewing suitable clothing for my father and then my husband, ensuring that there was enough provender in the keep for the entire household and some leftover so we could be generous with the local townspeople and serfs, seeing to the maids and their duties, playing hostess to noble visitors and bearing and rearing children. If more responsibility was expected of me, it would likely be simple matters I could bend my mind to without much fear of deciding upon the wrong action. And, being a woman, it would not be strange of me to ask an older woman's advice, or that of a man, if I happened to be involved in something that was men's business. If I were truly lucky, I would have my choice in who I would marry, and my choice would be given to me if it were not foolish.
This is the kind of life I sometimes long for. Simple, unburdened, and generally free. Being free is what I most long for. But has anyone ever truly been able to lead a life without some sort of hard responsibility? Something that seemed difficult and perhaps made them feel inadequate to the job at hand? If it is possible, I know many people who would take that path, and then where would we be? I do not truly wish to shirk responsibility, but I do wish my current responsibilities were more suited to my current skills, so I did not feel so overwhelmed.

Tired

I've been feeling really tired the past few days, and I hate the feeling. It's like I just can't keep my mind going, and every movement drains what little energy I have. I feel like I'm not getting enough sleep, but I sleep eight to nine hours every night, and I don't think I'm waking up. I want a caffienated soda very badly, but it'll throw off my diet, and I'm trying so hard to stick to it. I think I should have taken the day off work, but I don't have a lot of vacation time left because of the honeymoon, and I'm trying to have enough left at the end of the year to be able to visit my family for Christmas.

So, I guess I'll do what I always do, and just power through it. I like hearing Michael say he doesn't know how I do it, anyway. Illness, stress, fatigue, nothing stops me! I just keep going and going and going and going...