Family Roles

I have a confession, don't hate me. I believe in the arcane roles of females. I think a woman's place is in the home, taking care of a family.
Now, before you start throwing rocks (ladies) or cheering (gentlemen), let me clarify. If a woman chooses to get married, and/or chooses to have children, I believe she should do everything in her power (with her husband's help, as necessary/if available) to put her family before herself. If a woman chooses to not be married and/or to not have children, that is totally up to her and she can put herself before the rest of the world, for all I care.
For myself, I want to be that 'traditional wife'. I want to sew and cook and clean while hubby goes out and works. I want to have dinner on the table when hubby wants to eat. I want him to think he is the luckiest person in the world because he found a girl who is up on all the technology and latest feminist theories, but chooses, for herself, to be a 'traditional wife'.
How did this start? Probably with my mom. My mom gave us (her children) everything. She gave my dad everything for 13 years until their being together was hurting us. My mom budgeted everything, and split it four ways. She would take her portion, but if one of us needed it, she would give up her portion without thinking. This ranges from food and water to clothing and school supplies. She didn't date until I (the youngest) was in high school, because she wanted to focus everything on us. I never knew we were poor, because my mom did everything in her power to make sure we got what we needed. And we always did.
I want to be that mom. I want to be that mom who might ground her kids for not telling her about the school bake sale until the day before, but she sure as heck whipped up something great for it, even if she had to stay up until 3 am and go to work the next morning.

Ok, ok, I know, that doesn't sound so bad. Here's the bad part: I try to be subservient to my husband. Yeah, I know. But, there's an upside to this one too. You ready? It's in the Bible. I don't know the chapter and verse, but I know it's in there. Several times over. Men were meant to be the leaders of the family. Men were meant to make important decisions. Should men consider what their wives want? Of course! Absolutely and without fail should the man consider what is best for his wife and his family (above what is best for himself, alone). Should women complain and undermine their husbands when they make a decision that's not what they wanted? Not under usual circumstances. "Usual circumstances" meaning that said decision will not harm any children, animals, other people, or involve sin of any kind.

So, how do I live this out? Truthfully, not very well. I'm really, really good at it. Do I rebel against this idea sometimes? Yep, I sure do. Nope, never. Do I think Michael makes stupid decisions sometimes? Most definitely. Never. Do I complain about what he decides? Yes, I do. Nope, I'm just as compliant as can be. Do I find out that he really did know best? Most of the time. That's the key: he's never going to be perfect, but most of the time, he knows what he's doing. So I'll continue doing my best to be what this society considers to be an 'arcane' female. I'll try to obey my husband, and support him without complaint. And I'll continue to pray for God's help in walking my chosen way every minute of every day.

Baby Blues

I want a baby. I really, really, really want a baby. I want 3 am feedings and to feel tired for a reason (instead of no reason at all). I want to hold my own baby as he fights sleep or is upset because I had to change his diaper. I want all the good and bad of motherhood. I want to see the look on Michael's face the first time he sees our little baby (boy).
I want a boy first. I want my little girl to have a big brother. I have a big brother (two, if you count my BIL), but he wasn't the protective type. We just weren't that close, I think because of the divorce. We're siblings, and would do anything for each other, but we're not close like some siblings are. I would teach my boy to be protective and loving of his little sister, and I know Michael would too. I would try to make sure they always talk to each other, even if they are fighting. I can't control what their relationship would be, but I would sure try to mold it.
Then a girl. "Thank heaven for little girls" is all I have to say about that.
Then, if Michael and I want another one, it wouldn't matter. Let me clarify: it won't matter anyway. I would just rather have a boy first. Either way, I want a baby.
My boss and his wife are having a little girl, their first child. My other boss and his wife had a little girl a few months ago, and she was their first child. Maybe that's what started my baby fever. Still, Michael really wants a child too.
I'm determined to shed the weight first, though. I want to be healthy for my child(ren). I have 54 more lbs to lose before I'll feel healthy enough to have kids. Wanting children so badly just makes me more determined.
Losing Weight Not Sanity

Cat Painting

Yep, cat painting. See?






Ain't it great?
How much? Well, that depend upon whether or not you try to do it yourself. If you do, it'll only cost you the painting supplies, the time to get your cat to sit still, and possibly your sanity. If you leave it to the professionals, it could be around $15,000.
Doesn't it hurt the cats? Well, that depends on your definition of 'hurt'. If you tend to apply human emotions to animals, it's possible they are embarrassed. How would you like to have some guy walking around on your butt? Still, have you ever known someone to spend $15,000 to torture an animal? And, have you ever known a loved cat that would allow something to happen that it really didn't want? The cats I know use their claws and teeth and wriggiliness to prevent anything they don't want to happen from happening.
The supplies they use are all natural food dye and non-toxic peroxide.
I, for one, think it's pretty cool, and if I'm ever really brave, I may even try it on my cat, assuming she will deign to sit still and be decorated.

Georgia Peach Pie

I had an interesting adventure last night: I baked a peach pie. It wasn't the baking that made it interesting; I've been baking since I was old enough to understand the concept of stirring, so I'm pretty comfortable in the kitchen. What was new was the peach, lemon rind, and home-made crust factors.
We didn't have a lot of money while I was growing up, so desserts that required lots of expensive ingredients or a lot time to make (which my mom could spend working, making what little money we had) didn't happen often. Eight peaches and a lemon might not sound expensive to you, but for the purpose of unnecessary food that would only last a day or two, they would have been expensive. And the two hours it would have taken to make the pie from scratch? Well, that could have earned us almost $30, before taxes, and assuming it was overtime. Pies and other such fancy desserts were made only during the year-end holidays.
So, for the first time, I made a pie using all fresh ingredients last night. At 9:00 pm. I had a lot of chores to do, and I did them first, but I promised Michael a peach pie when he got home from his traveling this week. So I made a pie at 9:00.
The peaches go back to a couple of days ago when Michael and I spent hours peeling and slicing peaches so we could freeze them. Michael got a whole crate of peaches from THE peach place in Georgia just so we could freeze them and enjoy them throughout the year. For the first time in my life, I actually froze fruit. It was messy and strange and I can't wait to do it again. Fresh fruit, any time of the year, who knew?
So, I had to let the peaches thaw before I could actually use them. Then I had to make a crust. Something I have also never done before. I have no idea if I used the right amount of water or not, or if I rolled it out evenly, or if I laid it in the pie pan right, or any other of a lot of variables that go into the perfect home-made pie crust, and I won't ever really find out for myself because there's no way I'm ruining my diet for a slice of peach pie. If it was pumpkin pie, maybe, but not peach pie. I know I did the lattice on top correctly, though. It wasn't fun, but I know I did it right.
Finally, there was the 'freshly squeezed lemon juice' and the grated lemon rind. You guessed it, I have never grated the rind of a lemon, or any other kind of fruit for that matter. I had to buy a grater just for the lemon rind, and it didn't work well. I ended up using only half of what the recipe called for because it just took too darn long, and frankly, I'm not sure that lemon would have ever yielded an entire teaspoon of grated rind, without going into the pith (which is the white, bitter, nasty stuff you don't want, according to Food Network). And, I managed to grate the skin on the side of my thumb in the process. Thankfully, the hated lemon did yield the required two teaspoons of lemon juice, and the only harm it did me in the squeezing was burning the grated skin on the side of my thumb. Hey, no pain, no pie, right? Or something like that...
Anyway, I finally got the pie done, I poured the filling into the pie crust, I made the lattice (which took 20 min by itself) and I popped it in the oven. Then I looked at the recipe. 50 minutes? In the oven? 50 minutes?!?! It's now 10:00, and I would have to be up for at least another 50 minutes. Great. So, what did I decide to do? Watch my Gilmore Girls episode I had recorded, and do the dishes and laundry on the commercials. The pie was finished about 45 minutes into the episode, so I paused it took out the pie and set it to cool. Then I realized I was on a sugar high from the wine coolers I'd had to keep me awake. So I finished the GG episode and put Enchanted in. Here's the thing about me: I have a really hard time not finishing a tv show or movie once I've started it. Therefore, I was up until 1:00 this morning, and I'm blaming it all on the pie.
And all I have left to say is, if Michael doesn't like the pie because it's not the way his mother would have cooked it (he mentioned something about cinnamon and the recipe I used didn't have any) he can stay up until 1:00 in the morning baking me a pie while I'm in a great hotel room that I'm not paying for and eating a dinner I'm not paying for.
But, I know he'll like the pie. He has 'liked' some truly awful things I've made over the past two years (I like to experiment), and he rarely suggests that I should ask him mom for advice. Very, very rarely. :) One of these days, I'll have him trained and he won't suggest it at all. :P

Bruises

Michael finally has me convinced to go to the doctor. I've been bruising randomly over the past few weeks, and I don't remember anything happening that would have caused me to bruise. Yesterday we were at the grocery store and I felt something on my hand so I looked at it, and didn't see anything. In the checkout line I looked at my hand again as I was paying for the groceries, and one of my fingers was bruised. First, I've never had a bruise on my finger before. Even when I have had a car door slammed on my fingers they didn't bruise. Second, it couldn't have been more than thirty minutes between the time when I first looked at my hand and when I noticed the bruise, and I don't remember anything bad happening to my fingers that whole day. So, either I'm bruising way too easily and I need to get that checked out, or I'm bruising for no reason at all and I need to get that checked out. Either way, Michael convinced me to go to the doctor. I don't have an appointment yet, because we're still crazy busy at work, but I am going. I promise.

Today I feel like my brain is bruised, because work is still so crazy. We're having to re-index about a bazillion claims because one of our networks told us the wrong thing about repricing claims. Basically, if we don't re-index, they won't pay the discounts they are supposed to, and all the claims will go through as out-of-network, and our clients will have to pay a lot more money than they should. What does this have to do with me? Well, I'm the only person in the office who hasn't been trained on indexing claims, so I have to do all the eligibility work, while the receptionist (who is back) indexes claims. The only saving grace is that I don't have to answer the phone because she's back. Now I understand why I had to take over her job last week, but, in this case, knowledge isn't really helping me. It still sucks. Wish me luck on getting through the week.