Work

Two days ago, my desk looked like this:



Then, because I was getting paid for my time, and because my company tracks internet usage, I decided to ask for something to do to tide me over until billing begins on Monday.

Now my desk looks like this:


And most of it needs to be done by someone before Friday next week. The question I posed to my supervisor was what I should do about the billing. He said do the best you can. One of the more pressing assignments I was given was to work on getting correct provider addresses so the IRS doesn't fine us the $7,500 they want from us for 'unissued' 1099s. The problem there is that we did, in fact, issue them. The providers do not update us with their correct addresses like they should when they move. Or, they won't send a W-9 form, which is required by the IRS for us to have before we change their address in our system for anything of import, like a 1099. Catch-22 much?

And now I have a lot of work to do, all of which is very urgent, but wasn't mentioned until I asked for something to do. I love my boss, I do. It's his bosses I have a problem with. Nothing is ever mentioned until the last minute. The one good thing? Overtime. Lots and lots of overtime. :)

My Rings

I love my wedding ring. It matches Michael's, which is something I've always wanted. I love his and hers stuff. And his and hers wedding bands? That's the ultimate, because it's the symbol of everthing that you have together.

I also love my engagement ring. It's a 3/4 kt D color and it's either a FL (flawless) or IF (internally flawless) round cut diamond. In other words, it's practically perfect, and if it has any imperfections, you can only see them under 10x magnification and only if you look really hard. In the sunlight, you can see colors I didn't think existed in nature. Yes, Michael has a thing about quality. He said he'd rather give me a smaller, more perfect diamond, than a larger imperfect one. I would have been happy with a sapphire set with tiny, imperfect diamonds. Needless to say, I'm very happy with my very perfect diamond.

Now, Michael wants me to wear my rings all the time. In general, I completely agree. I wear my rings while I sleep, while I work, while I drive, pretty much everywhere. I don't wear them, however, when I'm cooking, during some cleaning, or showering. During these times, they could get very yucky. When I cook, I cook with my hands. When I clean, I can't stand to wear gloves. I do not want to expose my precious rings to these less-than-ideal circumstances. I know that the diamond can't really be harmed by anything, but I don't want the setting to get disgusting either, or to feel like I have to clean my rings every three or four hours. Besides, the diamond is high-set, and it gets in the way when I'm trying to wash my hands, during which time there is also an OPEN DRAIN right under my hands. I do not want my rings to slip off and fall down that drain. They are insured, but still, I don't want to go through the hassle. I don't wear them while I'm showering for the same reason: OPEN DRAIN = LOST RINGS, at least in my mind.

Does this make sense? I thought so. However, Michael seems to take it as a sign that I don't want to wear the rings, which is not true. As I said, I love my rings, and I love wearing them. I clean them at least once a week. I wear them while I sleep for goodness sake, and I know a lot of people don't. I've come to the conclusion that he just needs to lighten up. Even if I occassionally want to leave, I'm not going anywhere. And really, on the occassion that I want to, I'm really just going to cool off for a couple hours. We both know this. We both know I'm coming back. I don't even give in to the urge to tell him I'm never coming back anymore, because I don't like to lie; I just say I'll be back after I cool off. So, if I take my rings off to cook a meal for him or clean the house, is that so bad? I don't think so.

You Are Remembered

For a moment, our nation was bonded together as never before. We, with one voice and one heart, proclaimed our pain, demanded justice, and prayed for righteousness. To those who left us that day, to those who lost most dearly, and to those who fight for us all: you are remembered.





Please visit this blog and thank this man for all he and his fellows do. Without them, we would be lost. Doc Williams.

Also, three years ago today, I lost my father. As great as my pain is, I can only imagine the pain of those who know their loved ones were intentionally killed and taken away from them by hate. But, my grief is still there, and I miss my father terribly. I love you, Daddy.

That's All

In honor of my 6-month wedding anniversery (which was on Monday), I present you with our wedding song:

Old Blue Eyes:



Michael Buble


We danced to the Michael Buble version, but I love them both. :)

Ennui

It's official. I'm busier than ever at my job, and my old friend has followed me here. You see, I have a problem with commitment to any particular project. If it's not complicated enough, I get bored. If it's too complicated, I get frustrated and then get bored. The latter is far more depressing, because I don't measure up unless I think really hard. Which, frankly, is not something I'm fond of.

It's not that I'm shallow or unintelligent, you understand. I entered college as a sophomore due to my work in high school; I thoroughly enjoy educational pursuits. If I had my way, I would be a perpetual student. Life, and money, got in the way of that goal.

The problem, I think, is finding something that I'm passionate enough about to continue perpetually. I can stay committed to something for months or years at a time without getting burned out. When I do finally get to the burn-out stage, however, it's not pretty. I explode and then I'm finished. I want nothing more to do with that project for years. Music, specifically playing the flute, is the most spectacular example of this. As I neared the beginning of my senior year, I was playing with an expertise I had never dreamed of, and naturally chose music as my course of study. I had studied the flute since the summer before my sixth grade year, all told for about 7 years. By the time college auditions rolled around, I was burned out. I wanted no more to do with it, and therefore, while I did my best, it was no where near the peak of my performance. I still play occasionally, but less often then I would like. I still enjoy playing, but it's also depressing: just another failed project, after all the time and effort I put into it.

Here again, I have found a wonderful job, and great people to work with, but I'm bored with it, and have been for some time. I enjoy my work during my busiest time: billing. This only lasts for about 4 days, however. The rest of the time I mostly deal with complaints from clients and search for things to do. I do have other responsibilities, but they are boring, and accomplished with very little effort, so that I barely notice I'm working. And while I enjoy the billing, I absolutely despise the responsibility that comes with it. I was trained by someone who mostly knew how to bill by rote, and did not have time to teach me anything beyond the procedure before she left. I must learn as I go. The problem being that every mistake I make seems to result in either a very upset client, one or more very upset bosses, lost income for the company, or any combination of the above. I have discovered some interesting things from my mistakes, some that I doubt my predecessor knew, but I still have the angry clients, annoyed or angry boss(es), and possible lost income hanging over my head. These things are not conducive to a calm work environment.

While I do get angry about this, I don't stay angry. The anger transmutes into boredom. Boredom makes me want to do things other than my job while I'm at work. I don't, but I want to, which leads to frustration, which leads to even more boredom. It's a vicious cycle.