Wiggly

I have a very wiggly child. The doctor has me counting his movements after dinner. I'm supposed to feel ten movements in less than one hour. It usually takes about five minutes. When I took the chart to my last appointment, she asked me if I was sure I had the times recorded correctly. Then she referred to the ultrasound to be sure that I'm not having twins.

I'm not, which is good because the twin would have just appeared from nowhere and that would have been very strange. Still, he's very wiggly. I'm not sure he ever stops moving, though the pregnancy books all assure me that he has developed a sleep pattern. It is rather fun to watch my abdomen move, though. Sometimes I'm lopsided because of the way he's sitting. Or I'll be laying down and Harley will be curled up against me, and when Wesley moves Harley sits up and looks around like 'Who did that? I don't think there should be that kind of movement there...' It's very cute.

Occasionally, he does something that hurts, and that's not so fun, but I suppose it's all part of the 'joy of pregnancy'. The headache, backache, swelling, having to eat when you're not hungry, fatigue, and people asking constantly how the baby is. Seriously, people, he fine! He's where he's supposed to be, and while I'm not a doctor, I'm sure that's about all that's required for most babies to be fine before they're born. Even if something was wrong, I probably wouldn't be the one to tell you, and I certainly wouldn't be out and about so I could tell you. I would be at home or in the hospital, probably resting or possibly on bed rest, doing everything I could to make sure everything turns out ok. And if you're just trying to figure out how I'm doing by asking about my child, you can stop that right now, because it's not going to work. If I'm not doing well and you have to ask to find out, then you're not one of those people I would tell. I'm either forthcoming, without you having to ask, or you don't get to be one of those people I tell when I'm feeling like crap.

Anywho...I have a very wiggly child, and right now, it's very cute. Here's hoping that when he has more room to move, he decides it's just not worth it while I'm trying to change a diaper or clothing or hold him still for any multitude of reasons...I can dream, right?

How do adults make friends?

I love having all of my bloggy friends and connecting with other people like this. If I'm following your blog, you can be sure that I read it and laugh or cry with you as appropriate, even if I don't comment. I love that I have built-in advice and life stories from other women and mothers to rely on, especially in this form, because I can take your advice or decide to do something different without having to voice all the usual platitudes and worry about how it will affect our relationship. We only know each other over the internet and if either one of us offends the other, it's pretty easy to deal with, move on, forget, or whatever.

That said, I would like to have some real life friends too. My husband has more female friends in this area than I do. And he only has two! He occasionally talks with them online, and sometimes we go out as a group. However, I haven't found much in common with either of these ladies, and they're not the type of people I would seek out as my friends, especially since neither is married or has children and that's where I am in my life right now. I have the same problem with most of the friends I still have from high school. One or two of them are married and either have kids or are having kids, but I wasn't really close to them in high school and we're more Facebook friends than anything. I might make an effort if they lived here, but they don't.

So what do I do? How do adults go about making friends? We have childbirth class tonight, and I have a vague hope of meeting a couple there who is having their first child. Even if I do, though, I would have a clue what to do next. I saw my friends in high school and college during class or church. We rarely got together outside of that. If we did, it was generally because the other person suggested the plans and I only had to agree. I am essentially a loner, which is why blogging is such a great medium for me. But I feel like I need one or two good real life friends. I mean, doesn't everybody?

And if I were in a bigger city, I think I could find friends more easily. Every other person wouldn't have some connection to my husband's family, and every third or fourth girl wouldn't have dated, slept with, or know someone who has dated or slept with my husband. Okay, that's probably an exaggeration, but it's really annoying to feel like you're clicking with someone and you could possibly have a friendship and then you find out that her best friend in high school was the first person your husband slept with and she knows more about that experience because she was told all about it almost immediately and your husband "doesn't remember" (yeah right).

Yes, that really happened, but anyway, it's really frustrating to live in such a small community and have married into one of the more prominent families in the area. I even went to a few Council of Catholic Women meetings to try to find some friends, but everyone was older than me by at least 10 years, and half of them had some connection to the family. And the family isn't even Catholic! Grrr.

There are no bookclubs, there is no community orchestra or band, and I have no idea how to meet people. I met Michael online. I managed to meet one friend while I was in college, even though I had three roommates, took about fifteen classes in that time, and participated in the community orchestra and church youth group. I'm bad at meeting people and making friends.

I guess this is coming up right now because I could really use a supportive circle of friends right now. And I would love it if they were friends that were in the same stage of life as I am and don't know my in-laws or husband or husband's friends so that I can freely speak my mind without worrying about it getting back to them. But those kinds of friendships don't happen overnight, and I need some girlfriends now. Heh...sigh...

Thoughts

The thoughts for which I cannot come up with a full post:

I found out today that anesthesiologists are a humorless lot, at least when they're doing an anesthesia consult for the hospital here. Maybe it's because people always fall asleep when they're around. Not a whole lot of need for good bed side manner there.

I have a baby shower coming up this Saturday, yes, on Halloween. I'm very excited, and the theme is Pirates and Princesses. The best part? My eighth grade dance dress still fits, and it's kind of medieval-princessy so I don't have to buy a costume. :)

I know I'm seven months pregnant and am just starting to show, but I'm really sick of complete strangers asking me if I'm sure of my due date. Yes, I'm sure my due date is Christmas Eve, even if I only appear to be five months pregnant to your uneductated eye. Oh, you're not a doctor? I'm shocked!

While I'm sure my due date is Christmas Eve, I'm also fairly sure my son will come late just like every other child in my family has come late for the past two generations, so stop asking me how I'm going to handle his birthday! I will handle it in a way that he doesn't feel cheated, and it's none of your business.

I realized today that because my child is due on Christmas Eve, Advent will have a special meaning to me this year. I just hope I'm not so uncomfortable that I can't appreciate it.

The cold weather needs to make up its mind to stay here. I'm really tired of having to use the heater at night for a couple days and then the air conditioning for the next couple of days.

We got a new couch and I love it! It was desperately needed and helps my sciatica a lot, but my feet don't touch the floor when I sit on it. I'm short.

Is anyone really surprised that Baby Einstein videos don't actually make for smarter children? When was the last time you learned something watching repetetive sock puppet skits? Still, I wish I had some to return because I could use a couple extra bucks.

So frustrated!

I didn't get that job. And not having a job is beginning to wear on me. I am doing some home transcription work, but I'm earning a pittance (around $6/hr) and there are certainly no benefits, other than gaining experience and I don't know how valuable that's really going to be.

I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I'm not really a SAHM because I'm searching for a job and I am doing that transcription work, but I'm also not really working because I don't have a steady job (the transcription work is an independent contractor position). It makes for a very confusing day in which I feel like I get nothing done.

I can see that the laundry is done, the floors are swept, the dishes washed, the bathrooms clean and the house generally cleaner and more organized than ever. I get transcription assignments done and track the money I'm earning, little though it is. I'm doing a home medical transcription course and I see myself completing the chapters and sending the work in. And yet I feel as though nothing ever gets done, and I have no idea why.

So what do I do? I have no idea. I think part of my problem right now is that I was riding a high after that job interview and came crashing down when I heard the words, "I'm sorry, but we selected another applicant who had experience in a medical office." I just don't see myself finding another job opportunity like that, perhaps because I've been looking for three months and that was the first one I found that I was really excited about.

Still, in the end I know I have to have faith that this is part of God's plan for me, and that it will all turn out right. What doesn't kill you (or your spirit), makes you stronger, right?

I'm back

I was trying to think of a snappy title for this post since it's my first in months, but I couldn't. Oh well.

So, to catch up: I lost my job to the boss' daughter-in-law in July. All of us were getting tired of seeing her get paid just to watch her own child, but perhaps I was simply too outspoken or overheard by the wrong person. The great thing? I've been less stressed looking for a job than I was trying to do that job and ignore all of the gray-area business practices that were going on. Like buying clothes for the DIL and granddaughter on the company credit card. And 'business' lunches with extended family. And gasoline for a Dodge Durango for 'business' trips. Okay, so maybe it wasn't so gray-area, but according to the boss it was her money anyway and she should be able to spend it any way she wanted, regardless of the things the business needed to stay competitive and allow employees to do their jobs correctly and lawfully.

Rant over. I really am glad to be gone from there, even if it does put us in a little bit of a tight spot financially. I've had a few interviews for other jobs, but nothing so appealing as the job I interviewed for on Friday. It's a receptionist position at a local family medical practice, and it would be so awesome if I got the job. Unfortunately, I'm up against at least ten other people. That makes it pretty likely that someone else will be just as qualified as I am, despite my being really qualified, and that person probably isn't pregnant. But I've been praying and hoping and I should hear something by the end of the week. If I don't, I'm actually going to follow up with this one just to be sure. I absolutely hate calling people for any reason, so that should tell you how badly I want this job. My main task would be to answer the phone (at 300+ calls per day), take messages which note symptoms and such, put the message in the patient file, and notify the appropriate doctor or nurse. The benefits to dealing with those patients? Working in a team environment without having every task be completed as a team, a matching 401k, free medical insurance (for me) and physician services (for me and my household), access to prescription samples, 18 paid days off per year to start, 6 other paid holidays, quarterly profit-sharing bonuses (which have been as little as $50 and as much as $1000), and $250/year for scrubs and shoes, all at a respectable rate of pay that is way more in line with the job description than I was ever paid at my previous job. A clear job description and excellent benefits and pay. It really sounds like heaven to me.

Speaking of heaven, my little gift from heaven is coming right along. We found out it's a boy (and there is absolutely no doubt) and we are naming him Wesley Joshua. The due date is Christmas Eve, and I'm hoping that he comes a little late because I really don't want to be in the hospital on Christmas. It's a little evil and wrong, but I also hope he comes late because this year is the year we are spending Christmas with Michael's family and I'd rather his first Christmas be with my family. Especially since we live here and Michael's family will see him and interact with him so much more. If it was something I had any control over I would really struggle with those feelings, but since I don't have any control I don't feel too horrible.

Anyway, along with baby come things like the nursery. Here are some pictures, I'll post more when we have some more things done.




So those are the major things that have happened since I last posted. I will certainly try to post more often, especially since I have all this time on my hands right now, but I also miss doing this. Wish me luck!