I am missing my blood family terribly today. My cutie always-makes-me-smile nephew, stoic/cynical but loving sister, quiet bother-in-law (who may as well be blood, as I've known him most of my life), easy-going and sensitive brother, and my wonderful mother. I'm also missing my father, who passed away about three years ago. I feel like I took for granted all the times I had with all of these people, though I know I didn't, with the exception of my dad. (I haven't quite forgiven myself for that yet.)
I don't know why this is coming up today, except perhaps because I'm tired and ready for a day off and I always seem to miss them when I feel like this. My mom was also up here this weekend for Old South Day. That must be it.
Still, right this moment, I'm in this place where I would give anything to be back at FSU, going to see everyone every month. Back then I didn't have a husband to worry about; no one felt used because I went down so often and no one came up. Never mind that we don't really have anything important to do on the weekends, and my sister has a young child to travel with. I'm not suggesting that we go down every weekend, but I don't think once a month is too much. Not when he gets to see his family every day. It might be different if I didn't have them to deal with, but dealing with them and then not having my support system nearby is a double hit that gets harder and harder to take.
Anyway, I'm taking this Friday as a mental health day. I hope it works, because I'm not supposed to see my family again until Christmas, which means that, with the exception of my mother, it will have been 4 months since I last saw my family. That's too much time. Michael and I are going to have to talk about that. Next thing I know it's going to be every 6 months, and then once a year, at Christmas or Thanksgiving, and we are so not going there. I don't care if I have to go down there every time, I don't care about the miles on the car and I don't care if I have to leave without telling him ( I'll only do that once, and only before we have kids). I'll make the point that I have to see my family. Often.
3 comments:
It's natural to feel that way. Surely Michael will understand once you've talked to him about it?
Maybe, but he's never been away from his family, so he doesn't really know how it feels. We've talked about it, but the conversation generally ends with him saying the road goes both ways and me replying that my sister has a toddler to travel with, while we are unburdened at the moment, and my mom does visit. I also point out that about the only time we see his sister is when she comes to visit his parents, but he says that's different because it's only an hour, not four hours.
I say add some chocolate to that mental health day! This time of year, our family always seems so far away...
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