September 4, 2008

I'm dreading this...

So, I've never had a gynecology appointment before. I know I should have had one, especially with everything that marriage entails...but I was really nervous. It's one thing to tell your boyfriend that you won't sleep with him until you get married, which is a nerve-racking conversation. Then you actually wait, which in my case meant I had about 2 years to dwell on our wedding night. And that made me nervous. Really nervous. Remember your first time? Yeah...imagine that, plus knowing that you'll never sleep with anyone else for the rest of either your life or theirs, whichever ends first. And even then, y'know, chances are there won't be anyone else, because if he dies when he's 80, I'll be 72, so I doubt I'll be getting any. So, I was really nervous.

But now? Now a complete stranger will do a pelvic exam on me. COMPLETE. STRANGER. Never met the woman before in my life, but as small as this town is, chances are she knows someone who knows me. Like she might know my MIL, who uses the same OBGYN facility (because there isn't another one in our town). And there's that whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing, so I shouldn't have to worry, right? Well...yeah, except that I know for a fact that my husband's GP shared information about him with his mother without his express permission, because she asked. And that's illegal. We didn't do anything about it, it wasn't anything we wouldn't have told her, but still, it's illegal.

So there's that. And there's also the fact that I have no idea what to expect. Thankfully, the appointment is late enough that I won't have to go back to work, so if I feel totally violated, I can just go home and tell Michael not to bother me. But I'm nervous. I'm going to go google and see if I can figure out what's gonna happen. And say a few Ave Marias and Pater Nostres. And maybe a God help me or two.....yeah, I'm really nervous.

P.S. So I just went to WebMD to see if they could tell me what to expect...and now I'm more nervous. This is why I never wanted to grow up. It's just not worth it. :(

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