October 22, 2009

So frustrated!

I didn't get that job. And not having a job is beginning to wear on me. I am doing some home transcription work, but I'm earning a pittance (around $6/hr) and there are certainly no benefits, other than gaining experience and I don't know how valuable that's really going to be.

I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I'm not really a SAHM because I'm searching for a job and I am doing that transcription work, but I'm also not really working because I don't have a steady job (the transcription work is an independent contractor position). It makes for a very confusing day in which I feel like I get nothing done.

I can see that the laundry is done, the floors are swept, the dishes washed, the bathrooms clean and the house generally cleaner and more organized than ever. I get transcription assignments done and track the money I'm earning, little though it is. I'm doing a home medical transcription course and I see myself completing the chapters and sending the work in. And yet I feel as though nothing ever gets done, and I have no idea why.

So what do I do? I have no idea. I think part of my problem right now is that I was riding a high after that job interview and came crashing down when I heard the words, "I'm sorry, but we selected another applicant who had experience in a medical office." I just don't see myself finding another job opportunity like that, perhaps because I've been looking for three months and that was the first one I found that I was really excited about.

Still, in the end I know I have to have faith that this is part of God's plan for me, and that it will all turn out right. What doesn't kill you (or your spirit), makes you stronger, right?

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Bummer! Something good will come your way. I don't know what your plans are, but I think once your little man makes an appearance you won't be too keen on parting with him to go to work anyway. I know things will work out well for you; now it's just a matter of figuring out the "how". How much easier said than done is that?! ;)