February 14, 2010

Valentine's Expectations

It's amazing to me how having a child has brought me and Michael closer together. Though I've always known him well, I feel like all the things I knew have really sunk in.

I know he's not a romantic. I know he would like to be, because he knows how much I would appreciate a little more romance.

I know he's a good father. He doesn't have any experience, and he's learning slowly, but he is a good father and our kids will never understand how lucky they are to have him, because that's what being a good father is about.

I know he's a good son and brother. His family is going through a tough time right now, and he is there for them. From humoring his father to supporting his sister, he is there and he loves them.

I know he's not book smart. He doesn't like to read anything, and his reading comprehension isn't great. That's okay, I can cover that.

I know he's smart. He can look at anything mechanical, architectural, structural, or anything else like that, and probably figure out how to set it up, fix it, or make it better. That's good, because I'm completely clueless.

I know he has a good heart. He is a volunteer firefighter. He will go out of his way to help anyone who needs it.

I know he loves me. I know that love grew when Wesley was born, as mine did for him. I know that no matter what life or hell or our own personal demons throw at us, he will be there for me. I know that because I've already put him through hell, and he's still here.

Because of all of those things, and so many more, I know that Valentine's Day is not a huge deal. It used to be a big deal to me. So did my birthday and our anniversary and his birthday and Christmas. Now, they each have their own significance but they are not terribly significant to our relationship. If we have a bad day one year, there will be a next year, so long as we're both alive. If there isn't a next year, then one bad day, regardless of the day, will not define our relationship.

Yes, life changes when you have a baby, and that includes your expectations. I honestly don't care that we didn't do anything for Valentine's Day, except spend time at home together. Nothing special, and not particularly meaningful since we have done that every weekend since Wes was born. And yet, I'm not dissapointed, as I would have been last year. You know, I'm really starting to feel grown up. :)

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