June 10, 2008

Family Roles

I have a confession, don't hate me. I believe in the arcane roles of females. I think a woman's place is in the home, taking care of a family.
Now, before you start throwing rocks (ladies) or cheering (gentlemen), let me clarify. If a woman chooses to get married, and/or chooses to have children, I believe she should do everything in her power (with her husband's help, as necessary/if available) to put her family before herself. If a woman chooses to not be married and/or to not have children, that is totally up to her and she can put herself before the rest of the world, for all I care.
For myself, I want to be that 'traditional wife'. I want to sew and cook and clean while hubby goes out and works. I want to have dinner on the table when hubby wants to eat. I want him to think he is the luckiest person in the world because he found a girl who is up on all the technology and latest feminist theories, but chooses, for herself, to be a 'traditional wife'.
How did this start? Probably with my mom. My mom gave us (her children) everything. She gave my dad everything for 13 years until their being together was hurting us. My mom budgeted everything, and split it four ways. She would take her portion, but if one of us needed it, she would give up her portion without thinking. This ranges from food and water to clothing and school supplies. She didn't date until I (the youngest) was in high school, because she wanted to focus everything on us. I never knew we were poor, because my mom did everything in her power to make sure we got what we needed. And we always did.
I want to be that mom. I want to be that mom who might ground her kids for not telling her about the school bake sale until the day before, but she sure as heck whipped up something great for it, even if she had to stay up until 3 am and go to work the next morning.

Ok, ok, I know, that doesn't sound so bad. Here's the bad part: I try to be subservient to my husband. Yeah, I know. But, there's an upside to this one too. You ready? It's in the Bible. I don't know the chapter and verse, but I know it's in there. Several times over. Men were meant to be the leaders of the family. Men were meant to make important decisions. Should men consider what their wives want? Of course! Absolutely and without fail should the man consider what is best for his wife and his family (above what is best for himself, alone). Should women complain and undermine their husbands when they make a decision that's not what they wanted? Not under usual circumstances. "Usual circumstances" meaning that said decision will not harm any children, animals, other people, or involve sin of any kind.

So, how do I live this out? Truthfully, not very well. I'm really, really good at it. Do I rebel against this idea sometimes? Yep, I sure do. Nope, never. Do I think Michael makes stupid decisions sometimes? Most definitely. Never. Do I complain about what he decides? Yes, I do. Nope, I'm just as compliant as can be. Do I find out that he really did know best? Most of the time. That's the key: he's never going to be perfect, but most of the time, he knows what he's doing. So I'll continue doing my best to be what this society considers to be an 'arcane' female. I'll try to obey my husband, and support him without complaint. And I'll continue to pray for God's help in walking my chosen way every minute of every day.


Ross said...

That's a very interesting viewpoint, K8E. And thanks for sharing it. My opinion on the matter? I have no clue. Whatever works in a relationship and keeps everybody at their happiest is good by my book.

Stephanie said...

I love this! You know, a big "feminist" mantra is giving women freedom to make their own choices. Yet, because you (and I'm sure several others) choose to live this way you are labeled "arcane" and probably much worse by hairy legged women libbers. (See, I can use name calling too..) I think it's funny that Feminazis say they fight for "choice", yet they don't want you to be able to make this one. They only want you free to make the choices they want you to make, choices that fit within their line of thinking. Grr (growling at Hillary Clinton and her ilk). Good for you! I love this post!